Jokes

lol at Ronda, should have been blonde

lmao ok it's too early! I was sitting here thinking why is that funny? I need to die my hair back to it's normal color, I am dumb enough as it is lmao! That was good Siobhan, made me read it 4 times this early! lol

There was a place crash in Poland

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening...

A 6th grade science teacher, Mrs Parks, asked her class, "Which human
body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until little Molly stood up, angry, and said, "You
should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my
parents, and they will go and tell the principal, and you'll get fired!"
She then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her, and asked the question again, "Which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?
Little Molly's mouth fell open, and she said to those around her, "Boy,
is she gonna get in big trouble"
The teacher said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Jimmy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body
part that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the
eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Jimmy." Then turned to Molly and continued,
"As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
First, you have a dirty mind.
Second, you didn't read your homework.
And third, one day you are going to be VERY, VERY disappointed

You just can't do!

You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this!!! It is from an orthopedic surgeon.............

This will boggle your mind and you will keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't.

It's pre-programmed in your brain!


1. Without anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY.......) and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.


I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

Send it to your friends to frustrate them too!

LOL Siobhan! I like the first one you did, but I'm lost on the second lol Must be having a blonde day lol Thanks for posting!!!

At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up: "At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands.

Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself.

After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from America stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Ireland stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt'n behind Seamus on the bike began to holler ..."Seamus ... Seamus ... the wind is cutt'n me chest out!"

"Well, Paddy my lad," said Seamus, "why don't you take your jacket off and turn it from front to back ... that'll block the wind for you."

So Paddy took Seamus' advice and turned his jacket from front to back and got back on the bike and the two of them were off down the road again. After a bit, Seamus turned to talk to Paddy and was horrified to see that Paddy was not there. Seamus immediately turned the bike around and retraced their route. When after a short time he came to a turn and saw a bunch of farmers standing around Paddy who was sitting on the ground.

"T'anks be to heaven, is he alright?" Seamus hailed to the farmers.
"Well," said one of the farmers, " he was alright when we found him here .. but since we turned his head back to front .. he hasn't said a word since!"

lol oh come on guys! You have to get e-mails with jokes in them! I just don't want anything rude sexually is all lol. I like them myself lol. But because of the age group on here and for the ones that can view and not have to be members I don't want them running to their moms saying they found a joke lol

lol i dont know any jokes that are funny and rated less than "r" or nc17 lol

LOL Joe you know what I mean! Have fun, just not tooooo much fun lmao

Ok! the jokes have to be clean and up to 13 yr olds. Did you ever hear a 13yr old joke Ronda? They are worse then adult jokes. Well we will keep it clean.

Joe

To my darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the

Small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too

Much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I

Accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when

It bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will

Forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot t wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.
XXX






P.S. Your girlfriend called

Here is a place to post some jokes. Please keep the jokes to something that if your 13 year old were to read it, you wouldn't be offended or their parents lol. Thank you!!!